Jealousy, the Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy is an emotion that all of us experience at some time or another. It’s quite normal to feel wishes to have more of your loved one to yourself and possibly to not like it when they appear to be devoting their time and attention to someone else. People who feel very secure in themselves and really like themselves tend to feel less jealous of others and less possessive of their partners.

People who have had abandonment and betrayal in their lives can be overwhelmed by jealousy, as can children who felt left by a parents’ divorce or parents who were otherwise emotionally unavailable. If you witnessed parents’ infidelity in your childhood, you may feel afraid that your partner will cheat too, even if they give you no cause to feel this way. If deep down you feel you are not really a desirable person or partner, then you may always think, “I’ve got to hold onto them and keep control or they will leave me.”

There are two jealousy scenarios that will erode and eventually destroy a marriage. One is when you feel constantly jealous of your partner and the other is when they are always jealous towards you.