I recently discussed divorce with my colleague Dr. Drew Pinsky. For those of you who have heard us in the past, you may remember that we both tend to feel that couples give up on marriage too easily these days. Divorce is costly, painful and disruptive to all involved and yet the divorce rate remains extremely high. What specifically is the upside of marriage, those of you who are struggling may wonder? Read the rest of this entry »
Divorce is painful, costly and disruptive for everyone’s life including the kids. Some folks say they have found a “solution”: feel divorced while continuing to live together and not get a divorce. Making a conscious decision to neither split up nor work on the marriage seems to me to potentially have a place as a temporizing measure for a relatively modest period of time. But it is certainly not a good long term solution.
Divorce is traumatic because:
- You are terrified of being alone for the rest of your life.
- The turmoil of splitting up all your possession is very scary.
- You will both take a serious financial hit.
- You will have to divide your time with the children and the long term effects on the children may be significant.
Marriage is hard, yet rewarding. It takes a lot of work to maintain a good marriage. Adding children into the equation adds even more complexity and can make it more stressful. And when the children are his and you are their stepmother, you now you have a real tightrope to walk. The wicked stepmother is infamous for a reason. No matter how much the kids like you or how wonderful you are you still REPRESENT the hard reality that they cannot live with their mom and dad together. Read the rest of this entry »
Just because you and your partner break up, does it mean you have to lose the other meaningful relationships that came with it? The answer is…maybe. Read the rest of this entry »