Dealing with a Commitment-phobe

November 29, 2009

A commitment phobia is a fear and subsequent avoidance of having to commit to anything — especially a relationship. Being involved with someone afraid of commitments can be both frustrating and perplexing. In addition, being afraid of any commitment is no picnic either; life is pretty lonely. While there may be many reasons for this fear, it often begins when a child has a loss of an important person in their life. When a child experiences losing a parent to divorce or if a child’s parent dies; the loss can be so traumatic that the child may always fear losing a loved one. This fear of loss and rejection keeps the commitment-phobe from risking getting attached to anyone. Being a witness to spousal abuse may also induce a fear, a fear of getting hurt or being a hurter and cause the child witness to grow into an adult who never wants to get married.

If you have ever dated someone who says they want to be with you desperately and seems to chase you with incredible zeal till they catch you — and then suddenly turns cool and critical? You may have stumbled onto a commitment-phobe.
There are several typical behaviors for the start of a relationship: Read the rest of this entry »