Is There a Sex Problem?

The most common sex problems for men are: Erectile dysfunction, a sexual desire that is much higher or much lower than your wife’s, and premature ejaculation. These issues are all treatable, but most couples never get help because they are so uncomfortable about the issue that they do not discuss it and do not seek help.

Erectile dysfunction may be the first symptom for a medical problem (like diabetes, or cardiovascular disease) and therefore new ED should prompt a visit to the doctor for a check up and a testosterone level check (another less likely but possible culprit in ED). Many men feel so ashamed of the ED that they definitely do not want to go to the doctor. Talking to your husband about the possibility that it is a medical issue, and that you would even like to go with him to the doctor often really helps.

Desire differences are extremely common. There are many techniques to raise desire in the lower desire partner, again, if you talk about it.

Premature ejaculation affects many men and can be treated with using a technique called the “Stop-Start Method“. Condoms often help by reducing stimulation and even medication temporarily can rectify the problem.

But no help can occur when , to avoid the conversation, both people pull toward their own side of the bed and avoid having sex altogether. This is a common though unfortunate occurrence.

  • It is best to have the conversation out of the bedroom, when both of you can feel less vulnerable. Pick the kitchen on a drive or some other neutral territory.
  • Open with how you notice this problem and you love him so you want to put your heads together to make it better. Ask if there is any stress at work, with other relationships, financial worries … all of which could be the culprit.
  • Ask about any problems between the two of you, another likely culprit.
  • Suggest you go for the checkup to be supportive and rule out that possibility and then also consider a certified sex therapist who can work with you on specific tasks and treatments to help.
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